Questions? Comments :(

Weekly I go to acupuncture and its kind of my time to decompress and explore my thoughts. Yesterday as I was laying there with a ton of diet coke coursing through my body it was a little harder than normal to relax. I could actually feel the needles vibrating back and forth which told me I was somewhat aggravated and I was having a hard time figuring it out. After a few minutes my kids came to mind and I realized one of the things bothering me was the comments I had received regarding the kids.

Now I welcome questions about foster care and adoption because I think its widely misunderstood. Heck that’s why I started a blog. So I usually tell people that they probably don’t have a question that I haven’t asked myself or heard someone else ask. But the comments are what bother me.

For instance – Oh those poor kids. You’re an Angel/Saint for taking them in like that. They are so lucky to have you.
I may even have been guilty of making a comment like this at one point. BUT now it makes my skin crawl. I want people to have empathy for children who are abused/mistreated but not pity. And I’m not an Angel or a Saint. I might have deep faith I would hardly consider myself religious. Am I a good person? Sure? Should I be canonized because I want to be a mother? Should I get a set of wings because I can’t have children or afford a private adoption?

It’s tiring isn’t it? Welcome to Motherhood. (with the sarcasm that says – you got yourself into it) – If I had birthed a child would people really say that to someone holding a 5 week infant? Or would they have sympathy because they had been there done that? I think more likely it would be “I know its tiring but totally worth it. Let me know how I can help”

Well at least you can give yours back. – Now I know when the person said this she wasn’t trying to be cruel. And it was in response to overhearing how we were dealing with some tantrums. That being said – how dare you say something like that? Do you have any idea how incredibly hard it will be to “give them back”. How tough it is to try and prepare/explain/sooth a child who’s very fear is that she won’t go back even though your ever wish/desire/dream is that you could keep her safe with you forever? That sending her back means that she’s is at a much higher risk for repeat abuse or getting stuck in a cycle of foster care and knowing that when she does her progress in reading and writing and spelling will more then likely get stuck again because she’ll be going to a home where that extra help will not be available. Because her Mother doesn’t speak English? Somehow I’m supposed to find solace in this?

There is no way you can have four and work full time. It’s too much. It’s not possible. You could never handle it. – Excuse me? I don’t remember asking for your opinion. How do you know what I can and cannot do? Do you have ANY kids? No? Are you married? No? Hmm. In fact all of the families I know who have 3 or 4 kids have a Mom who works full time and they seem to manager just fine. And if I decide to have 4 kids that’s mine and my husband’s decision and I really don’t care what you think and don’t plan on asking you. So next time please keep your mouth shut. Thanks.



Getting back to the questions – does anyone reading have any for me? I’m happy to answer.