Did I tell you I ran into my therapist?

At the school fun fair? I sit down at a table across from my family and look up and there she is.

She hadn't returned my phone call. I had made the decision to find a different therapist. But hadn't gotten around to finding one yet. Because honestly the thought of explaining my life failures and issues seems really daunting. And I am tired. I mean really tired. Beat. Beat up.

I know self care is important. I know I'm depressed. Those are in conflict with each other. A person can't operate at this level of stress and chaos without some sort of internal reaction. But I'm afraid to start taking the meds the doc gave me due to the dizziness.

But then there she was. And she said - I moved practices. You should be getting a letter. I'm sorry I didn't call you back. I should have called you back.

And I thought ok I forgive you. I got my letter yesterday and will be calling to check the insurance. Because I know I need her. For me. For my marriage. For my kids. And at least I can get somewhere with her. And if that point I decided to find someone else who isn't volunteer of the year at my kids school maybe I'll have the energy to do it.