Foster parenting IS different than parenting

A lot of the time people (co-workers, therapists, my mother) try to reassure us that our kids act and do things just like other kids. Sometimes it's hard to know/realize/remember that a lot of the time they do act like kids who live with their natural parents and who didn't get severly traumatized. And then we have days like today when it becomes glaringly obvious that the 4 kids in front of me ARE different and so is parenting them. My husband and I just finished watching the "Freakonomics" documentary on Showtime based on the best selling book. We both read the book and this was kind of a visual aid to the economist view of the world. For those of you who know nothing about the book the authors explain interesting theories by analyzing data- success rates for kids with decidedly "black" names vs white names, a case study of brothers named Winner and Loser, that Roe v Wade may have been at least half responsible for a 30% drop in crime in the 90s, etc. There is one study where they see if bribing 9th graders with $50 a month and a chance to Winn $500 if they are getting c a d above would make more kids pass the grade. In the scene the Mom and the son are discussing homework. She asks him if he read the book and he says yes. Then she asks Agian a different way and he insists that yes he read the book. Then she asks did he read it cover to cover: NO. We had a very similar exchange with LM tonight about her homework being completed at her visit. Yes she was done but she needed 5 minutes to complete. Huh? If you are done why do you need 5 minutes. And if it was 5 minutes why wasn't it done at your visit? My Mom couldn't help me. Did you ask her? No. Why not? I didn't have my book. So 5 minutes wouldn't have mattered either? You didn't get your homework finished. Yes I did. Love the circular logic kids use. Very much like the boy on the documentary. Except he was worried about his social life and being grounded. The hold in from of me was worried about stressing out her Mother, getting hit, and never returning to her home. We spent nearly an hour getting her calm and discussing the importance of being truthful and giving her Mom the CHANCE to parent her. Then she laid out that in her first session with the family therapist she agreed with an incorrect version of how her finger was broken so her Mom wouldn't get in trouble. That was in August. Well at least she learned from the discussion but now we have to correct the version of events and either the very detailed accept LM gave is wrong or Mom's BS story about playing a game is. My money is on my kid. Which means either Mom lied or she's delusional. Proud of you kiddo for correcting your story. A normal action for all kids but this one could save her life.